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Deer, Weenie Dogs & Possums

16 Mar

Grampa Doofus2

Grandpa Doofus

Ya know, Arthur, readin that article about the guys trying to save that deer in the mud with a helicopter puts me in mind of another incident happened back in the 80’s out in Menlo.

It seemed a pack a wild weeny dogs treed a deer not far from town and the racket attracted enough attention to get Menlo movin with some sorta rescue attempt….sorta like firemen coming to rescue a kitten from a tree. Only this warn’t no kitten, but a 2-point buck that was in no mood to come down outta that tree. Now the Menlo folks could only manage to drive off the weeny dogs but couldn’t figure out how to lure the deer down.

They waited around, looked the other way and pretended that they hadn’t noticed that a deer was sitting in a tree right next to em, but the deer wasn’t fooled at all. It didn’t move.

Personally I think the deer couldn’t remember climbing the tree in the first place, let alone how it was gonna git down. It’s main concern was that danged gang of wild weeny dogs.

So the folks called in a lifeflight helicopter from somewhere’s north a here but that didn’t work either. The copter was a hangin over the tree, blowin dust and dirt in everyone’s face and makin a racket. Meanwhile them Menloites couldn’t get enough men inta the tree to hold the deer still.

Finally they waived off the helicopter and decided to cut down the tree — which they did. Soon as the deer hit the ground it took off. Seconds later here come that pack of weeny dogs hot on the trail after the deer.

I don’t know why that deer was scared of them weeny dogs. It aint hard to outrun a weeny dog, specially if it’s a fat one. I once saw a weeny dog huffin and puffin fer all it was worth chasin a cat that was walkin cause it didn’t have to move any faster ta stay ahead of the weenydog.

About that gang of weeny dogs… some well-meanin fellar back in the 70’s decided the solution to the problem of possums was the weeny dog so he turned a mated pair loose in the woods to multiply and keep the possum population down.

Well, weeny dogs is naturally afraid a possums and the guy didn’t know that, so as the weeny dogs multiplied, they stayed together and ran around in a gang like a pack a wolves.

Now the possums aint dummies and one possum is smart enough to know that intimidatin a gang of weeny dogs is harder than whoppin just one, so the possums organized and they run around the Menlo area in their own gang. That’s the beginnin of the gang problem in Menlo — it’s their version of the Crips and the Bloods, I spose.

I also hear the eagles are startin to hang out together more and more and because the eagles are bald, Menlo’s now got a gang of Aryan-thinkin eagles.

One more thing: Menlo is still trying to prove to the govermint that they had to cut that tree down to rescue the deer but the govermint says it don’t believe no deer can climb a tree and without the weeny dogs, this story ain’t plausible.

Well, that’s it fer now. My Honey says I need to go down the basement and shoo the possum toward the neighbors house. I wonder if a weeny dog would help.

By Arthur Ruger copyright (c) 2000

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Posted by on March 16, 2015 in humor, Tall Tales, Willapa Bay

 

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