Our ego continues to lead so long as we seek to be understood, to gain recognition for our views, or attempt to vindicate ourselves. It also remains in control if we defend ourselves, make pacts (to always act, think or speak in a fixed way when certain conditions occur), or steel ourselves against what might or might not happen.
In doing these things we hedge, doubting that the Creative will come to our defense. Even though others may wish to change, or relate to us in a better way, they remain resistant because they sense our doubt and defensiveness. So long as our ego is able to control us we remain unreliable. – Carol Anthony
Curmudgeon at Work 