Mansplaining to men … in a way that even the dumbest tone-deaf guys can relate to.

Moxon on nut kicks
Image credit Julius Ghost

Man Perfectly Explains Women’s Rage Today Using Brutal Analogy So That All Men Can Finally Understand It

There is no way of talking around or explaining away the analogy in a way that will make he or she who attempts it look really really ignorantly bad.


Moxon said that his analogy – like any other – is imperfect, and he has received a lot of feedback since he hit “sent.” Positive and negative. “I chose nut-kicking because there isn’t a man alive that doesn’t understand exactly what a nut-shot is, and, with very few exceptions, none who would ever want it or seek it out or go out ‘asking’ for it,” he explained. “Most importantly, no man confuses getting kicked in the nuts with sex. It’s very clearly violence, even though it involves sex organs. The idea of growing up in a society where getting hoofed in the balls is normalized behavior, systematically if tacitly allowed by a complicit society, and frequently confused with a pleasurable activity like sex, would rightfully be horrifying to any guy.”

The Bored  Panda article’s author  posted the entirety of of A. R. Moxon’s tweets. I have combined that part of the article into a sequential quotation of what Moxon wrote


Hi, guys. Imagine if one day you got kicked in the nuts, really hard, on purpose. You doubled over. Felt the pain. Nearly passed out. Then you got kicked again. And Again.

Imagine it happened to you when you were 12. Imagine it was a 38-year-old woman who did it.  Imagine it was your mother’s friend and business partner.

Imagine that later your father explained that women just wanted to kick men in the nuts, so as a boy you had to be careful.

Imagine he had very detailed practical advice on this.

Imagine you started spending your life planning on avoiding being kicked in the nuts.

Imagine you became aware that women, including much older women – even elderly women – were always looking at your nuts. Women on the street would follow you. They’d tell you what a nice package you have. They tell you you’d be hot if you just showed off your nuts a little more.

Imagine you started wearing clothes to hide them. You bough uncomfortable protective gear.

All the posters and advertisements in all the magazines featured men’s crotches, though frequently not their heads. Women’s feet were frequently featured in prominent juxtapositions.

Imagine most of your friends all told you about getting kicked in the nuts. Imagine none of them had told anybody else.

Imagine all the older girls at school would make jokes about kicking you in the nuts. Imagine all the laughter. The jokes are all so funny.

Imagine you went to church and were told that God made girls to want your body, so you should protect your nuts at all costs. Imagine a  minister said it was your responsibility as a maturing boy not to do anything that would make girls think about kicking you in the nuts.

Imagine you found a girlfriend and you loved each other. One night you were fooling around and she kicked you as hard as she could in the nuts, and it all came rushing back.

Imagine she acted like obviously you wanted to be kicked in the nuts, mocked you for getting emotional.

Imagine you told the police, and they asked you what you had been wearing before she kicked you in the nuts. Asked if you’d had a drink. Asked what you might have been doing before. Had you been naked? Kissing?

Imagine there were laws that said that if a wife kicked her husband in the nuts it wasn’t assault.

Imagine you heard about men with ruptured testicles who had to pay for their own forensic reports. Imagine you saw statistics showing only 1% of kickings resulted in conviction.

Imagine a girl was caught kicking a boy repeatedly in the nuts while he was passed out drunk.

Imagine the judge let her off, because she was worried about the damage to the girl’s future prospects. She was a star swimmer with a scholarship.

Imagine this happened all the time.

Imagine one day if men all started talking about how most all of them had, at one point or another, been kicked in the nuts.

Imagine if women’s main concern was what a false accusation might do to their reputations, and whether this new honesty might ruin the mystery of sex.

Imagine a woman ran for president.

Imagine audio came out of her bragging about making it a regular practice to kick men in the nuts without even introducing herself. Imagine she lost no support for this.

Imagine she claimed the men accusing her were lying. Imagine she said they were too ugly to kick. Image there had never been a male president. Imagine she ran against the first major-party male candidate. Imagine he had experience, and she had none. Imagine she won anyway.

Imagine she supported a Senate candidate known for kicking young boys in the testicles.

Imagine she nominated a judge.

Imagine the judge was accused of kicking the boy in the nuts. Imagine the accuser had to hide from all the death threats as a result.

Imagine the woman president mocked the accuser in front of a crowd, and the crowd laughed and clapped. Imagine the judge was confirmed. Imagine the deciding vote was a man. Can you imagine?

Now imagine that being kicked in the nuts might result in you having to create, in your body, a genetic replication of the person who kicked you. And imagine the judge intended to make sure you have to carry it. Imagine that was the “reason” she was chosen [nominated and approved.]

I can’t imagine women’s rage today, but this exercise, while abstract, helped me to get nearer to it than I’d been.

Be kind to women guys. Today and every day.

If you see somebody being cruel to women, or abusive, or violent?

Kick em in the nuts.

By the way it’s 100% insane that this issue seems to require an analogy to draw a sharper focus on how wrong our society presently is, but here we are.

Author: Arthur Ruger

Married and in a wonderful relationship. Retired Social Worker, Veteran, writer, author, blogger, musician,. Lives in Coeur D' Alene, Idaho

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